Lord, Help Us All.

Item: Silence and Noise Button Front Jumper
Found: http://www.urbanoutfitters.com
Price: $68.00
Rating: AHHHHHHH!!!! (Out of 10)

I set out in search of my newest blog item and decided tonight to browse good ol’ Urban Outfitters. Little did I know that somewhere along the way, Urban Outfitters (and their bestie, American Apparel) met up with Doc Brown, hopped in the DeLorean and traveled back to November 5th, 1985.

THIS JUMPER stopped me in my tracks and my dear husband and I laughed for a good four minutes as we studied every DISASTROUS view of this garment. Each perspective is so rich, in fact, that this is the first blog I have included multiple angles of the same piece of clothing. Only when you see all three views will you comprehend just how sexy the female figure can really be.

I actually think this model might have asked for the photo to be cut off at the nose so her identity would never be revealed. She seems like a nice enough girl. Why would Urban Outfitters punish her so? I guess some people just get dealt a bad hand in life. Let’s all take a moment to pray for Ms. Anonymous Model and this Button Front Jumper. They have fallen into the hands of Satan and only God Himself can help them now.

Be sure you study all three photos to receive the full effect of this snazzy item! Warning: You may become aroused and consequently stumble into uncontrollable temptation.

~ Mir


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