These Shoes Rule.

My loyal fanciful followers! Spring break is upon me! This means that I can finally sleep in, stay up late, get a tan, stalk people on Facebook, and enrich your lives with all kinds of pretty things that  I cannot afford to buy. So for YOU, I go into stores and try on merchandise, shamelessly take photos of myself wearing said merchandise, then I Instagram the heck out of it all and post it up on the internet  so as to look cool, even though I actually own none of it.

That’s exactly what’s on the menu today: Five pairs of shoes I tried on yesterday at Nordstrom Rack with my best friend. While she actually shopped for shoes she planned to BUY, I simply tried on and fantasized about 25 teeteringly tall specimens that I would love to invite into my collection – if only I had lots and lots of disposable money to throw around – which I don’t.

Do you see that little strap across the center of my foot? It is a MAGICAL strap. While it may be small and seemingly insignificant, it is incredibly powerful. It turns ordinary old pumps into the epitome of sexiness, the mother of all hot shoes – the MARY-JANE. That strap gives you the power to get anything you please from anyone in the world. Use its powers wisely.

I showed my husband this picture, and he scowled and said they look horrible. This is proof that these shoes are an of-the-moment trend that is not so interested in classic sexiness as it is in peasant earthiness. Ladies, FYI, as cute as these shoes are, if you’re trying to get a man, go for the black studded mary-janes over the little-house-on-the-prairie-chic peasant shoes. Not that I have a single thing against peasant chic. I think it’s quite splendid.

Dear Eva Mendes, You do not have a monopoly on nude pumps, and the rest of the world is speaking out. Starting with me. Try and stop me from wearing these sexy as heck Steve Madden pumps. Love, Miriam P.S. Let’s hang out!

This color of butterscotch brown is absolutely, positutely the BEST accent color ever. Chinese Laundry done some serious good when they created this scrumptious style. And obvs – the taller the better.

At my 12th birthday party, around 1am after my parents had scampered off to bed, my friends and I decided to get REALLLLLLY crazy and dress up like the Spice Girls. I was Baby Spice, and OH HOW I WISH I had these shoes in that moment. I would have been the belle of the Spice Ball. However, at age 12 I probably would have looked like a pre-pubescent prostitute, so it’s probably best that I only wear them now as an adult. In which case I would, of course, look like a completely appropriate sartorially-inclined woman.

So happy to have finally broken the blogging silence. Love to you all!




1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Christina Mitchell
    Apr 26, 2011 @ 13:13:43

    As always your insight into the world of fashion has brightened my day!


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